#I never had ants on a log because I didn’t care for peanut butter and celery has a bad texture

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

So many of you grew up in the raisin region. Sad!

What is ants on a log

Celery with peanut butter and chocolate chips so kids eat celery.

[anadorablekiwi]

@silvercaptain24 @telemna-hyelle …so you know that modern hsr au i was playing around with? Also @onceuponaladye , im 90% sure this au wont have any spoilers or anything

The one i said i would never write because there’s too many different characters/mini plots to follow?

…

Well.

Enjoy?

“Oh, are you Bailu’s older brother? It’s a pleasure to meet you!” The woman smiled brightly. “Im her teacher, she has spoken highly of you!”

Dan Heng did his best to conceal his tension. “Yes. My name is Dan Heng, I’m a technology major at Xiangzhou University.”

The teacher poorly hid surprise. “Oh, you’re a college student then? It must be difficult balancing school, work, and taking care of little Bailu here.”

Bailu pouted at being called ‘little’ and stuck her tongue out at the lady.

Dan Heng forced a chuckle and smile. “Well, I’ve started focusing mostly on Work and Bailu right now. I only take a class or two each semester.”

While not technically a lie, he chose to leave out the fact that he had started college in general with just two online classes. This semester. And is only 17 years old.

Relief flashed across the teacher’s eyes. “Oh, that's good! Well, if you need anything, please don’t hesitate to ask me!”

“Thank you.”

Dan Heng led Bailu out of the school to where he had parked. He attempted light conversation for her sake, but he was still mildly panicked, and he knew Bailu could pick up on it.

Once they reached the privacy of their tiny apartment, Bailu finally broke the tension.

“I didn’t say anything that would make her worry, promise,” she offered in a small voice.

Dan Heng gave a slight smile and ruffled her hair. “I know, Bailu. Don’t worry. Its probably because I look young. Or, well, I look my age.”

He hung Bailu’s backpack on its hook by the door and headed towards the kitchen.

“Hopefully that should keep her off our backs. Want some ants on a log for your after school snack?”

“Ooo! Yes please!!” Bailu replied enthusiastically.

~~~

[months later]

“Woo Hoo!! Summer Vacation!!!” Bailu cheered as she pushed past Dan Heng and ran inside. She quickly took off her backpack and shoes, initially tossing them aside. One look from Dan Heng later, they had been put into their proper places.

“Cracker and peanut butter sandwiches for snack today?” Dan Heng removed his own shoes and put them away.

“Oh yes please! And Juice?” Bailu looked up at him, eyes full of hope and pleading.

Dan Heng chuckled. “Sure. And juice.”

~

Dan Heng set a plate and cup down on the cardboard box they had converted into a table. “Snack’s ready!”

A muffled ‘yay!!’ Was heard from the other room, followed by rapid footsteps.

Just as Bailu sat down to eat, Dan Heng’s phone rang. He looked at the screen, and raised a puzzled eyebrow.

“Video call…?” He muttered.

Dan Heng answered the call. “Hi.”

Jing Yuan smiled back from the screen. “Hello there! And oh perfect, Bailu is with you, too!”

Bailu grinned and waved. “Hi mister Jing Yuan!!”

Jing Yuan chuckled. “Hello there, little Bailu. I was wondering if you two would like to stay with me for a couple weeks, kick off your summer vacation with a bit of fun? You can play with the animals on Boothill’s ranch, help out with the horses…”

“HORSES??” Bailu practically screamed. She turned to her brother with her very best puppy dog eyes. “Please??? Can we????”

Dan Heng sighed. Jing Yuan clearly did this on purpose. He would know Dan Heng would want to decline, but if asking over video call, he was almost guaranteed to be within Bailu’s hearing range when the question was offered.

Reluctantly, he answered, “…sure. Why not?”

“YES!!!” Bailu shouted/cheered. She began to talk quickly, rambling off things she was planning on doing and excitedly ran to the other room.

“Bailu! You need to finish your snack!” Dan Heng called out. He finally turned his attention back to Jing Yuan.

“Sorry about that. Sure, we accept your invitation. When exactly were you thinking?”

Jing Yuan flashed a bright smile. “Perfect! How about you drive up here tomorrow? Or whatever time works best for you two, of course.”

Bailu, having returned to finish her snack, replied with mouth full of crackers and peanut butter. “Yes! Tomorrow!!”

Dan Heng wanted to smack his head into the wall.

“…Sure, tomorrow works. Thank you for the invitation, Mr. Jing Yuan.”

“Of course! And how many times must I say, just Jing Yuan is fine. No need for formalities. Well, I shall see you two sometime tomorrow then!”

“Bye!! See you tomorrow!!!” Bailu called.

“Goodbye Bailu, Dan Heng. Have a good rest of your day.”

“Bye.”

Dan Heng ended the call and let out a sigh.

Bailu grinned innocently at him as she took a sip of juice.

Dan Heng had an odd feeling about this.

~~

[wcmi-22]

Lovely day for a picnic with a Mad man!

It was a lovely spring day in Wonderland. All the birds were singing with glee, all the children were playing in the park and may people were out and about enjoying the beautiful weather. This gave one petite blonde named Alice Liddell an idea for what she wanted to do on her day off. So the little blonde dressed in a lovely long white collared shirt with an even lovelier sky blue shirt and holding it together was stylish black lace and brown belt. She even decided to try that hairstyle Ariel had suggested to her as well.

(Sorry the second picture looks so rough!!!! But you guys get it Alice looks adorable)

She then gather her picnic basket along with the yummy cucumber sandwiches, tea, crumpets, for the basket,her red and white checkered blanket and best of all her book of poems that she simply could not put down.

Once she has all her stuff together, she finally shuts her front door and walks toward the park. Once she arrives, she notices both the beauty and the various people all gathered around the area. Some were flying kites while others fed the ducks, walk their dogs or even watched their children play on the play ground. Some of them even decided to picnic just like Alice. Which lead to a great dilemma, finding a spot.

Though Alice had been to many a year party and social affairs before in London but, when it came down to it, she was not a very social person. In fact every time she tried to be, she acted shy and quiet to the point no one could hear her. Still she was determined to do better and she was determined to get a spot!

As she looked around for a nice spot, suddenly she saw once again the bimbettes staring at her and talking about her as she went by.

“Is that the Hatter’s girlfriend?” One of them in a red dress asked.

“I believe so, can you believe her?” Said another one in the green dress.

“I know! What kind of woman hangs out with such a freak like him?” Said the one in the yellow dress.

“Another freak obviously!”

Though they thought Alice could not hear them, however, they were sorely mistaken. Because once Alice turned around, she gave them a stern hard glare at them. In response they all turned their heads simultaneously to the opposite of Alice who kept on walking away until finally she found a lovely little spot under a large oak tree with a perfect view of the lake.

There she set up her picnic and placed her food on a plate in front of her along with some tea then got out her book and started to read as she ate.

“Humph those bimbettes!” She started to think to herself. “Who do they have think they are? Having the right to judge people and their lives!? At least Reginald pays attention to me even though I don’t want him to but they can’t even get Gaston to notice them! And besides Reginald isn’t that bad!”

Suddenly, she realized what she had thought and shook her head to help her go back to her senses.

She soon forgot about the bimbettes and kept reading as she enjoyed her cucumber sandwiches that is until a oh so familiar voice called to her.

“Oh Cricket!” it shouted. Low and behold right down the hill was none other than the mad man himself, Reginald Leopold Theophilus the Third.He wore his signature green hat along with his orange overcoat, blue vest over his white collared shirt, long green pants with matching abnormally large shoes. He had in his hand a rather unusual picnic basket to say the least. In fact it wasn’t even brown like normal baskets were, it was teal with strange green and pink swirls all over it with a plum purple blanket in the inside of it appearing out of it as well.

“Oh no!” Alice thought to herself “Not him! Not today, Lord!”

Though Alice wanted to run away but sadly, it was too late because he had already managed to gallup up the hill and to her area.

“Lovely day isn’t it, cricket?” He says as he sets up his area right next to hers.

“Reginald!” Alice said sternly.

“Yes, dear cricket?” He says.

“Your being awfully rude you know!”

“Really?” Reginald questioned “How so?”

“I did not give you permission to place your blanket next to mine nor in my area!” She explained indignantly.

“It’s a free park!” Reginald explains “All the areas here are free for everyone,cricket!”

Alice only rolled her eyes at his explanation.

“But I suppose if it will make you feel better,” he says and clears his throat. “Pardon me, Miss Liddell,” he starts to ask in his most dignified voice “but may I please have the honor of sitting near your presence for the time being?”

This made Alice both shocked about how he called her Miss Liddell and a little bit annoyed about how he made fun of it.

“Or shall I be banished from this country all together?” He asks giving her a puppy dog pout.

All Alice could do was sigh, roll her eyes and say “oh alright!” Followed by a “you may stay!”

The Mad Hatter quickly day on his blanket and got out his food which surprisingly, looked quite delicious considering how mad he was about combining food. Alice even saw him one time put ketchup on his Macaroni and cheese at one of Ear’s tea parties. The thought of that memory disgusted her beyond measure.

As she gazed at his food, she noticed something rather odd! Not only did he have crumpets, earl grey tea, honey and scones, but he also had a plate of celery, peanut butter and three boxes of raisins.

She then watches as Reginald gets out a butter knife, digs into the peanut butter and places said peanut butter on each celery stick.

If that weren’t bad enough, he opens a box of raisins and sprinkles them on top of the peanut butter covered celery sticks.

Then he proceeded to take one from his plate and munch on it with all his might.

This made Alice almost sick to her stomach just to watch him eat this weird concoction he made up.

Son Reginald notices Alice watching him and swallows his snack before lifting his plate of raisin and peanut butter covered celery sticks to her.

“Want one, Cricket?” He asks smiling his toothy smile.

Alice simply humphed and said “no thank you Mr. Theophilus!”

“The Third!” He interjected before putting down his plate.

“Besides how can you eat such a odd meal such as that?!” Alice states in disgust.

“What this?”Reginald says pointing to his plate. “Why it’s only ants on a log!”

“Ants on a what now?”

“Ants on a log, my grandmother used to make me these as an after school snack when I was a boy,” he explained “they are both delicious and nutritious!”

Reginald soon picks up another one of the celery stick and crunches into it, making Alice shutter in disgust.

“Besides they have to be better than those plain cucumber sandwiches your eating there, love!” He states pointing to her plate of small sandwiches.

“They certainly are not!” Alice interjected. “I had these all the time at tea parties when I was a girl and they were delicious and best of all less messy than your silly little snack!”

“Well,” he says finishing his stick “ how do you know if you don’t like them if you don’t try them, Cricket?!” He mocks.

“Well,” she says flustered “how do you know if you don’t like my sandwiches if you don’t try them too!” Alice mocks back.

Soon, Reginald taps his mouth with a napkin, lifts his plate and serves it to Alice.

“Care to put your money where your mouth is then, my little tea cake?!” He smirks with a Cheshire grin.

“What?!” She questions.

“How about this, dear Alice! If you try my celery sticks and I have one of your sandwiches, we will both see who is right and who is chicken!” He states. “Whoever can eat the others snack without hesitation wins!”

“And wins what exactly?” Alice asks.

Reginald then thought for a moment until finally, a brilliant idea came on in his brain.

“If I win, you have to let me combine my picnic with your picnic and spend the rest of the time here with me!” He states.

“And if you lose?” Alice asks with her arms folded across her chest.

“I’ll leave you alone for the rest of the week!” He says.

Of course, Alice isn’t one to gamble but not having Reginald bother her for a week was just too good to pass on.

“You got yourself a deal!” She says and shakes Reginald’s hand.

Both soon got a piece of each other’s snack and looked at each other.

“Ok,” Reginald says “ladies first!”

Alice gulps then lifts the peanut butter And raisin covered celery up to her mouth. Her hand is shaking, she looks to Reginald who smirks his devilish smirk as he watches her.

“Ugh I can’t do it!” She yells and puts it down.

Soon Reginald takes the sandwich in his hands and before Alice knew it, eats it whole with no hesitation what so ever.

He victoriously pats his mouth with a napkin and gives another smirk to Alice.

“I guess this means I win, Cricket!” He states mockingly.

Alice was shocked at how easily he ate it “But..but ....but how? You said...”

“I said they were plain to me,” he states fixing up his picnic to mix with hers “ I never said I never had one!”

“YOU....YOU CHEATED!YOU REPTILE,YOU YOU UNHOLY NEANDERTHAL!!!!”Alice exclaims in anger.

“No I didn’t, Cricket!” Reginald states “All I said was if you try my celery sticks and I have one of your sandwiches, we will both see who is right and who is chicken!”

“I...I..” Alice started to say until she realized there was nothing to be done. After all, her father had always said to never back out of a promise that you make to someone. Although in this case, she wished she could.

Through out the picnic, though at first it was a little awkward, eventually it became quite pleasant when Reginald and Alice talked about her poetry book.

“Well personally, my favorite author would be Oscar Wilde because of my heritage.” Reginald said lying on the blanket next to her with his hat over his face and his arms behind his head.

“Wait your Irish?!”Alice said surprised.

“Yes,”Reginald says “and Scottish so by the time I get to heaven I’ll probably see my ancestors in the middle of a fight between clans.”

Alice laughed at the though of both his family’s battling it out on those fluffy clouds with their brogue accents.

“So, can you speak Celtic and Gaelic then?” Alice asked.

“Eh a little here and there depending on which one I do!” He says.

“Which one do you speak better in?”

“Well,” he says sitting up from his former position. “ I do remember a few words in Scottish Gaelic .”

“Could you speak some!” Alice said excitedly until she gains her composure “um please.” She responds dignified once more.

“Well,” the Hatter says blushing at her excitement “Alright!”

Reginald then thinks for a moment then finds the right words to say, clears his throat and says “tha gaol agam air mo nighean blonde.”

“What does that mean?” Alice said confused.

“It means I love my blonde lass, my dear cricket!” He says smiling with his goofy smile at Alice who is blushing. They gaze at each other as they sat there in silence that is until

Alice sees the sun is setting and quickly gets up.

“OHDEARLOOKATTHETIMEIBESTBEGOING!” She says in a panic as she picks up all her things “ WELL LOVELY PICNIC MR.THEOPHILUS!”

“The third!” Reginald interjects.

They soon shake hands and Alice leaves Reginald on the hill at his own private picnic and as she walked away she hears in the distance “I had a good time mo nighean blonde!” Still she does not look back but merely walks away.

Back at her estate, she tries ever so hard to gain her composure of the events that occurred.

“We have discussed this Alice!” She scolded herself. “He is not right for you! He’s silly and delusional and and and...” suddenly those words he said in the robust Scottish brogue filled her head again.

“Oh curse that Scottish accent!” She says to herself and goes into the kitchen and washes the dishes, along with her sense,for the rest of the evening.

The End

[simonsoys]

Imagine the squad (Alphys, Undyne, Toriel, Asgore, Papyrus, Frisk, Flowey and Sans) who have a picnic all together in a post-pacifist story and Frisk, speaking to Sans, calling him accidentally (unconsciously?) "dad"? How Sans, Frisk and the other would react to this word?

I actually head canon that Frisk never calls Sans “Dad” for their entire life, even when the sentiment is mostly (let’s say… 70%) there. I also head canon that Sans doesn’t say “I love you” to them for at least another 10 years, and it’s the begrudging-est, most coughed up phrase when he finally does.

And I’ve talked before about the Sans/Asgore two half dads scenario going on.

But I’ll indulge this thought. (I forgot to include Flowey though, oops!)

…“Accidentally,” though. Ha, that’s a good one.

Later in a private moment, away from the others, Sans finally approaches Frisk. “so, uh… what’s up with all the pater familiarity all of a sudden, buddo?”

Frisk shrugs, “You’re the closest thing to a father figure I have in my life.”

Sans pauses. “that is… absolutely horrifying. …for you, I mean. wow. sorry.”

“Yeah but it’s okay.” Frisk shuffles their feet in the grass. “Asgore didn’t seem to like it though…”

“maybe he’s upset you didn’t ask him for the raisins. prune-ing is sorta his thing.”

“…”

“okay, okay. …i can’t speak for him but… look. we both– we both really care about you, you know? seriously, no joke this time. but we’re not what you want us to be. we can’t be– well, i can’t, anyway. i dunno. maybe… you could lay off the dad stuff?”

“…Yeah. Sorry.”

“s’okay. i promise, it’s not you. it’s me.”

“(Wh–? A- are you friendzoning me?)”

“besides? a skeleton dad? probably a total DEADbeat! heh heh… erm.”

“…If you say so.”

It’s getting super awkward, so he tousles Frisk’s hair and they go back to help the others pack up and go home.

((Overall, I think while Asgore is more open to the idea of a family, he’s got the worse baggage. Sans is like ‘heck no thanks!’ to the idea of being anyone’s dad, but is less bothered when he actually gets called it. Both of them are laying awake in their respective beds that night thinking “what have I gotten myself into.”))